This is not a post from me, rather it is a post from the priestess about a recent topic

Ineptitude is a strange thing. It is an insidious and subtle part of human nature. Ineptitude comes from the Latin ineptus. The quality of being inept is inherent when incompetence is demonstrated. Incompetence is being unfit for a certain arena of life, or lacking sense of reason in a certain area. In my life, I have been inept at many things. I have often been inept at sports and athleticism. I could extend this ineptness to many parts of my personal life. I have many faults and am a very emotional person. This colors parts of my life that should remain a more neutral tone according to our societal standards, perhaps taupe as opposed to a “multitudinous seas incarnadine.”
I realized certain aspects of me were lacking throughout childhood. As a hypothesized adult, the long arm of ineptitude reaches far into the depths of psyche and reason. Frustration towards the absolute other is frustration at one’s own inability to conceptualize an understanding about the other. If this were to be visually exemplified as the yin-yang symbol, the symbol would be missing the two small dots that are so vital.
What is important here is a feeling of well-being without a sense of dread. There is the glory and the thrill of excelling at a topic, of being a champion, or a well-awarded and well-renowned blue ribbon owner. When this is not within reach, a feeling of adequacy is necessary for happiness and comfort. Comfort itself is not necessary, but experience has taught me that it is better than the alternative.
Soul-searching is a difficult process because it involves looking at oneself to try and find the real person behind the masks that are necessary for protection. Protection from what, you may ask. Protection from having to find out who you really are. When you find out who you really are, then it is an arduous task, fit for a Buddhist monk. After some quick soul searching, more search-engine like than a meta-search tool, I skimmed the results and found these: I am a person with free will. If I have willfully demonstrated incompetence, I must have wanted it to appear that way. This is at odds with my nature to want to please people. This dichotomy of ineptitude vs. gratification is one that needs resolution for my current state of being to improve.
The current resolution is a discovery that perhaps I need to reevaluate my goals, hopes and dreams. I have many gifts to compensate my faults. These gifts need to be examined more closely to realize their worth. I have a gift that I share with humankind, to speak my mind freely and to derive pleasure from it, to utilize my unique voice in a way that speaks out to others. I would like to influence people with my work in a positive way. I would like someone to read my work and have it touch them in a meaningful way. I would like to have more of my work published so that others can read it. That moment of clarity when you read someone’s work and it speaks directly to you, I would like for someone, someday to experience that in my writing.